The First of the Quadrilogy?
Back in 2010, THQ had big dreams. Big, fiery, apocalyptic dreams! They wanted Darksiders to be the start of a grand quadrology (a word only the truly ambitious or deeply misguided use), chronicling the adventures of the Four Horsemen in an epic, Zelda-meets-heavy-metal saga. But fate had other plans. By the time Darksiders 2 rolled around, THQ was sinking faster than the Titanic strapped to an anvil, and the series was left in limbo until it was eventually necromanced back to life. Darksiders 2 is still the best in the series, because nothing quite tops playing as a wisecracking, wall-running, loot-hoarding Grim Reaper with the agility of a parkour champion and the pockets of a kleptomaniac. Unfortunately, Darksiders 3 ended up feeling less like a glorious comeback and more like a half-baked indie game cosplaying as its tacked on older sister. After years of waiting, it looks like we’re finally getting a proper Darksiders 4 – a real conclusion instead of that half-assed, isometric, bargain-bin Diablo knockoff that nobody asked for.
But let’s take a look back at where it all began. Darksiders first burst onto the scene in 2010 like a pissed-off Warhammer figurine, swinging a comically oversized sword and wearing enough armor to make a tank jealous. It was loud, it was dumb, and it wore its inspirations on its sleeve, but damn if it didn’t kick major ass! You play as War, the angriest, most overpowered horseman of the apocalypse, who gets framed for prematurely kicking off the end of the world. Basically the “Whoopsie Daisy, my bad!”, of biblical proportions. Stripped of his god-tier powers and forced to clear his name (even though it’s literally fucking “WAR”), he embarks on a blood-soaked revenge tour, solving puzzles, slaying demons, and generally making The Legend of Zelda look like TV kiddie hour.
Darksiders has some good aspects so lets discuss… The game knows how to make you feel like a total powerhouse. The combat is pretty satisfying, chaining attacks together like a battle-hardened ballerina on steroids. You’ve got the heavy hits, the fast combos, and a rhythm that makes mowing down demons feel like a stroll through a blood-soaked park, while you’re high on adrenaline and ready to tear shit up! Add in a massive arsenal of weapons, sick combos, and a badass war horse that makes you feel like the apocalypse’s personal wrecking ball, and boom – you’ve got a recipe for pure, unfiltered chaos. It’s like the game grabbed God of War and Zelda, threw ‘em in a blender, and hit purée while laughing maniacally. The bosses? – Each one feels like it’s straight out of a metal album cover, and defeating them is pure bliss. Darksiders does the whole “adventure” thing right with a mix of exploration, a few decent puzzle mechanics and straight-up ass-kicking that keeps you hooked for hours.
But let’s talk about the shit… and trust me, there’s some real, goddamn shit to wade through. First off, the puzzles. I know I just said there’s a few decent ones but that’s just it, “A few…”. You’ll be having a blast smashing everything in sight and making all these enemies your bitch, then suddenly you’re stuck jumping across platforms like you’re in some piss-poor version of Prince of Persia with the most unreliable controls. I love a good platforming game but this definitely felt like someone said, “Let’s ruin the fun with some crappy platforming sections!”. Backtracking is the game’s cruelest joke – it’s like the developers were bored and thought, “Hey, what if we make players walk through the same fucking areas for an eternity?” Every time you think you’re done, it forces you to go back through the same apocalyptic corridors, only now with more demons and less patience. It feels lazy, it isn’t fun, and honestly, I wish the game had just skipped it altogether. You’ll find yourself wasting time getting lost, trying to figure out where the game wants you to go next, because the level design just isn’t strong enough to support this type of HUB world approach.
And then there’s the camera… Don’t even get me started on the fucking camera… Too late! The camera in Darksiders is actively trying to ruin your life. It’s like the game had a drunken uncle hold the controller while it tried to keep up with your every move, zooming in on walls or awkwardly spinning around like it’s having a midlife crisis. You’ll be in the middle of a cool boss fight, and then the camera decides it wants to get intimate with a rock or suddenly finds the ceiling way more fucking interesting than anything else, zooming in and out like it’s having a panic attack. One second, you’re ready to land a killing blow, and the next, the camera’s spinning around like it’s in a rave, completely ignoring you while you’re left swinging at thin air. It sucks shit.
But I digress… In the end, Darksiders is a wild ride that delivers an apocalypse worth of action and adventure. Sure, it’s got its issues – awkward platforming, a camera that seems to have a vendetta against you, and backtracking that’ll make you want to eat your controller – but when it’s firing on all cylinders, it’s pure, unfiltered fun. The combat is satisfying, the world is beautifully designed, and the stakes feel as high as War’s frustration with literally everything. It’s not perfect, but damn if it doesn’t make you feel like you’re at the center of an epic, world-ending showdown. It might not have everything figured out, but it definitely knows how to make an entrance. Get ready to become War.
🎶 What is it good for?… Absolutely nothing! 🎶
Mikhail
Verdict: 7/10
https://opencritic.com/game/3460/darksiders-warmastered-edition