Gaming’s most basic bitch
I can talk endlessly about games I love, nitpicking every detail and singing their praises. I can also go on a glorious rant about games I hate, tearing them apart with the fury of a critic scorned. But the real challenge?- Trying to say anything about a game so bland it left zero impact on me. Enter Knack – a PS4 launch title that I assume was created solely to show off the new physics engine. Sony probably thought Knack would be the next big PlayStation mascot, but no. Knack is the equivalent of a department store display present- it’s wrapped up in a very pretty package, but once you actually open it there’s nothing but shredded paper.
I played through the entirety of Knack AND Knack 2. Why? I have no fucking clue. Maybe I’m just a professional time waster. (It’s not like I get paid for this shit) Maybe I lost a bet. Maybe deep down, I fucking hate myself. But here I am, trying to talk about them. Knack isn’t a good game. But it’s also not a bad game. It’s the textbook definition of aggressively, painfully, soul-crushingly average. The kind of game that exists, and that’s about all I can say for it. I played through both years ago, and I genuinely can’t remember a single level that stood out. Hell, I can barely tell the two games apart. They’ve merged into one amorphous blob of mediocrity in my brain.
I remember there were QTEs scattered throughout- tacky, uninspired, and completely weightless. They weren’t hard, they weren’t frustrating, they were just… there. Like parsley on a shitty dinner plate – technically present, but serving no real purpose. And then there’s Knack himself. His whole gimmick is that he shifts between sizes – fun-sized Knack, regular Knack, and Kaiju Knack by gathering little floating knick-knacks (HA!). Sounds cool in theory, right? Except it isn’t. There’s no satisfying weight to it, no power behind his growth. It’s not like transforming from Bruce Banner into the Hulk, it’s more like stacking a bunch of Legos together and pretending they’re stronger now. When your main character’s entire shtick is a gimmick that doesn’t even feel good, your game is doomed to be about as thrilling as watching piss-colored paint dry… in 1080p.
Knack is mediocre because it does absolutely nothing exceptionally well. it’s not broken, just extraordinarily bland. The gameplay feels like a glorified tech demo, with shallow punch-dodge-repeat combat that gets old very quickly. Knack’s whole “grow bigger” trick lacks any real impact, making him feel more like a stack of floating junk than a powerhouse. The level design is generic and forgettable, blending together into a lifeless blur, while the story, something about goblins and ancient relics (I cannot for the life of me remember), is so dull that even the characters seem disinterested. The story is going for a Pixar vibe but crashes and burns so hard it feels like a Dollar Store knock-off. The game also has a bizarre identity crisis, never fully committing to being a kids’ game, an action brawler, or a casual platformer, leaving it stuck in a weird, soulless limbo. In the end, Knack isn’t offensively bad, just so painfully “meh” that playing it feels less like an experience and more like a chore you forgot you even did. Playing Knack or Knack 2 feels like the equivalent of eating plain oatmeal and unsalted crackers. If I played both of them back-to-back, I’d still probably fail a trivia game based on them the next day. Gather up the Knick-Knacks, grow to your absolute biggest, and jump head first in the scrap pile.
🎶 With a knick-knack paddy-whack give a dog a bone- this game is as bland as styrofoam! 🎶
Mikhail
Verdict: 5/10 (Both)
https://playstation-studios.fandom.com/wiki/Japan_Studio
https://knackpedia.fandom.com/wiki/Knack_Wiki
THERE’S ACTUALLY A FUCKING ‘KNACKPEDIA’ ^^