Striking Distance Studios sadly Struck Out
The Dead Space Remake was spectacular.
After ten solid hours of blood-soaked bliss carving through space mutants, I knew I needed more. So when I saw Striking Distance Studios’ debut title, The Callisto Protocol, was free on the PlayStation Store — and knowing it was pitched as a spiritual successor — I figured, why not keep the adrenaline going? I mean, they basically look like space horror twins…
Sigh.
Going directly from the stellar Dead Space Remake to a clunky, budget-bin imitation like Callisto was like enjoying a nice, relaxing day at the spa — and then at the end, the masseuse elbows you in the stomach and calls it “deep tissue healing.” You play as Josh Duhamel (you know the guy — you’ve seen him in something), playing Jacob Lee, a cargo pilot who ends up in Black Iron Prison after a series of unfortunate events. The place is a disaster, poorly run, and quickly turns into a full-blown nightmare.
I don’t need to dive too deep into the gameplay. You’re basically playing discount Dead Space. And sure, Dead Space is just Resident Evil 4 in zero gravity when you break it down — but here’s the difference: Dead Space is good. It’s fun. It’s dripping with atmosphere and supported by a gripping, psychological narrative.
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This? This is a hollow knockoff.
Your main weapon — the stun baton (basically this game’s version of the Plasma Cutter) — feels like swinging a pool noodle at mutated nightmare creatures. Combat is sluggish, enemy variety is nonexistent, and the pacing gives you zero satisfaction or sense of growth. It’s a constant grind of cheap jump scares, wonky AI, and clunky mechanics that make you wonder if anyone even tested the game before launch.
It’s like they took every frustrating aspect of survival horror, slapped on some expensive visuals, and crossed their fingers hoping no one would notice. But you do notice. And it’s maddening.
This game isn’t even “We have Dead Space at home.”
It’s “We ordered Dead Space on Temu.”
The story feels like one of those straight-to-VHS sequels Disney used to churn out in the ‘90s — only without any of the charm or accidental fun. Sure, it’s pretty to look at, but good graphics can’t hide a script that’s flatter than the moon’s surface. There’s no emotional core, no real characters to care about, and certainly no reason to keep going beyond sheer stubbornness.
I wanted to like something. Anything. I kept telling myself, “There’s gotta be one good moment. One redeeming sequence.” But The Callisto Protocol just never delivers. Every time you think it’s about to get interesting, it falls back into clunky combat and mind-numbing design choices.
It’s not just a letdown — it’s space trash. A game that promises horror, tension, and cinematic thrills… and delivers none of it. By the final few chapters, you’re not scared — you’re just exhausted.
But hey, if you’re a glutton for punishment, there’s always the REDACTED DLC bonus chapter waiting for you. You know — the one that supposedly reveals the “real” ending. I didn’t play it. You shouldn’t either. Some doors are better left sealed.
Clocking out of cosmic timeout,
Mikhail
Verdict: 4/10
OpenCritic Rating
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