In a broken world, only one puffball can fix it… by eating everything!
Inhale first, ask questions later
With the recent news of the Switch 2 that Nintendo begrudgingly announced (Why they didn’t call it the Super Nintendo Switch instead is beyond me), I want to take a look back upon a charming little game from 2022 that entertained me on my plane rides back-and-forth from Colorado to NJ. Our cute little pink ball of love, Kirby, has returned for what I considered to be his grandest adventure yet. Granted, I’ve only played a handful of the Kirby games because there’s like fucking 30 of them now, but despite my nostalgic bias for Kirby and the Crystal Shards on N64, I think this newest title is his best.
Believe it or not, this is our first time seeing the little round fatass in a 3D playspace. Kirby has now ventured into a post-apocalyptic setting where all the Waddle-Dees have been kidnapped from Pop-Star Planet, or whatever, and he must free them all from their cages to secure the fate of Dream Land or something. Honestly, who cares about the plot of these games? I know the post-apocalyptic thing has been done to death but seeing an innocent and wholesome character like Kirby now starring in a game setting that resembles The Last of Us is captivating enough in its own absurdity. Maybe the next game will have Kirby in a dystopian nightmare where he’s the last survivor of a world ravaged by his own insatiable hunger, and he must go on an eating rampage, consuming every last bit of existence to restart the universe.
Kirby and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull rewards you for being aggressively ADHD by checking under every rock for a lost Waddle-Dee. Each one you rescue will be transported back to the delightful HUB world where they will be put to work rebuilding Waddle-Dee Town. Each area or building in the town serves a purpose, even if it’s just messing around with the other Waddle-Dees by the fountain. Kirby must overcome obstacles by sucking off every inanimate object (bow-chicka-bow-wow), be it; car, scissor lift, vending machine or even an alien spaceship. I appreciate the random acts of Kirby overcoming a flooded area by turning himself into a traffic cone and breaking walls of rocks. Why not?
The Cafe within the town is a cozy corner of hospitality used to evolve your abilities whenever you find the blueprints scattered throughout the levels. There’s the classic ones like the Sword which can be upgraded to the Meta-Knight flashy sword and can probably get you through most of the game if you’re a fucking noob, but why do that when you can use the upgraded drill-tornado ability and turn Kirby into a big spinning vortex of doom? There’s a few occasions where upgrading an ability I think nerfs it, so sometimes I prefer to keep it at the base level. Then there’s times when it’s satisfying to upgrade your hammer ability and smash your way through enemies with a massive cartoonish mallet.
Kirby: Fully Loaded feels like a relaxing vacation. A treasure trove of unfiltered joy. It’s like someone took the wholesome fun of a Saturday morning cartoon, stuffed it in a blender and then the pink puffball inhaled the whole damn thing, along with maybe a building or two. He’s just very hungry. It’s hard not to smile watching our adorable little friend destroy everything with the same enthusiasm he uses to inhale a sandwich. Kirby doesn’t just save the day, he swallows it whole! This game is all killer, no filler and provides plenty of challenges and levels to feed Kirby the world. Go turn into a vending machine and dispense some justice!
ByeeEEee,
Mikhail
https://opencritic.com/game/12682/kirby-and-the-forgotten-land