And in our “lol wut” section of daily news, Jair Bolsonaro, Brazil’s former far right president who got arrested this week after attempting to break his ankle monitor with a soldering iron (yes, really). And why would a gaming content website write about this?
Well, someone made a game out of it (again: yes, really).
As seen by Drops de Jogos, in “Solda Slug” (made by indie developer João Sombrio), you use the mouse pointer to control said soldering iron, aiming it at Bolsonaro’s ankle monitor. Hold down the left button, the soldering tool starts…soldering. But wait! Alexandre “the Xandão himself” Moraes’s shiny, sunny, sexy baldness starts coming on and off the screen, ever watchful, like the proud Justice minister that he is.
Here’s the game, freely playable. YES, REALLY!
Now, unlike the real news, where Bolsonaro hilariously failed to destroy the monitor, you actually can break it in this single screened browser game. However, the end result is the same: you still go to jail — either Xandão catches you red-handed, or you break the monitor and get arrested because that’s what happens when you break a legally-mandated device that is always on, you idiot!
Obviously, the game is not official — thus its free, browser nature — and it’s meant to poke fun at the former far right Brazilian president’s weird shenanigans. But some of its assets refer to open, free and famous games from the old days. The soundtrack is all Metal Slug, for instance, muffled in sound bites of Bolsonaro’s testimonies and interviews given over the course of his presidency. Other assets are credited as soon as you end the “match”.
Why was Jair Bolsonaro arrested
Jair Bolsonaro was on house arrest since August, due to failure to comply with several of Brazil’s judiciary system’s impositions pertaining to another investigation (of which he was also a defendant). He was told not to access any social media platform or any other form of outside communication, and visitors would be vetted as some party colleagues of his were also implicated in the same case.
Then, in early September, Bolsonaro was convicted after a lengthy, week-long trial where he was found guilty of leading a conspiracy to overthrow current President Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva’s government by a military coup d’etat. Lula’s assassination, as well as vice president Geraldo Alckmin’s and Alexandre de Moraes’, were in the cards, according to several news reports. The plan — which was printed, we cannot stress this enough — was referred to as “Punhal Verde-Amarelo” (Green and Yellow Dagger, in a loose translation).
Bolsonaro’s conviction came along seven other cohorts, although the former president’s was one of the harshest: 27 years and 3 months in prison. Since Bolsonaro is 70 years old, his defense team tried to ask for leniency, which…leads us to the current events, where he tried to destroy his monitor, prompting local Federal Police teams to assess the situation and recommend his full arrest, in fears of him evading the country — Bolsonaro’s place of residency in Brasilia, the country’s national capital, is about a 15-30 minute car drive to at least 10 embassies and, had he made it to any of them, he’d be in internationally protected grounds, and the police would be unable to touch him.
Now he will no longer have any type of leniency, will have to serve his conviction time in jail (although one specifically tailored to politically-involved convicts) — and we got a game to make fun of him.
Which reminds me: it’s Black Friday time, and Amazon got some interesting deals in soldering irons for you to use. Y’know, just in case…
